The corniness factor was off the scale tonight as David Archuleta and David Cook faced off on the American Idol finale. The whole boxing thing -- with the Davids coming out in boxing gloves, the Rocky them, the "let's get ready to rumble" guy announcing -- was so over the top I wasn't just vomiting in my mouth, but needed a bucket. The writers and producers are slowly putting the nails in AI's coffin. They wonder why the ratings are sagging this year? It's this kinda crap that doesn't sell to the teen and tween set. The Baby Boomer nostalgia trip the producers have been on all season nearly ruined the show. Anyway...
Record mafia don Clive Davis and Andrew Lloyd Webber (still slumming in LA, Lord Webber?) were the mentors. The Davids sang three songs: one picked by Clive, one of the songwriting contest entries (puke) and then a song of their choice. I'll just tell you right now, Tickle Me Archuleta came to win tonight and if I have to put it in boxing terms, the little fetus KO'd Cookie every round. I know the Cookloonies will have my hide, but he seemed really restrained, almost as if he was throwing the contest a bit. I have a feeling Cookie Combforward doesn't want to be locked into that binding contract with Clive and 19 Productions, who would pretty much run his recording career for the next decade. Unless he flopped, then they'd drop him like a hot Taylor Hicks rock.
David Cook: Clive selected U2's classic I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For and it would turn out to be Big David's standout moment. He looked like a rock star and the crowd was with him. The songwriting entry, Dream Big, was your standard cliche about faith, dreams coming true, ad nausea. He powered through it, but it wasn't his kind of song, but he did what he could with the schlock. Cookie chose Collective Soul's The World I Know, and it was good, not great. It was a little slower than it should have been, but Big D was all emotional at the end. The judges thought he did well, but not as well as the Fetus. They coronated David A. long ago, just like they admitted wanting this finale.
David Archuleta: The Terminator's mission is almost complete. He laid waste to the stage tonight and sounded perfect. I didn't hear any lyric slips or overly-botched notes. Clive had him sing Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me (you can apply your own jokes to this...it's way too obvious for me to even bother) and he nailed it. The goopy contest entry song, In This Moment, was so horrible I wanted to claw my own eyes out, but once again, Little D turned it into a Disney spectacular. For the closing song, he wisely chose to recover Imagine. And again, perfection. He was teary-eyed and awww-shucked to the end.
All I can say is that the cougars and Cookloonies better be double-clicking their mice and dialing their fingers to the bone tonight, because he's going to need it to win. Or maybe, you'll realize he doesn't really want to win and let him go make his hit album on his own terms. Archuleta will fit well into the industry machine. He'll trade his overbearing stage dad for overbearing Clive Davis and go on to make tweens across the country swoon and scream.
Tomorrow night's two-hour finale will be tedious beyond words. I'm going to start drinking early.
Comments
cookiemonster 05/20/08
I don't buy the 19 thing though - all of the top 10 are required to sign with 19 should it be offered.
cookiemonster 05/20/08
short cause i'm texting my fingers to the bone!
palais 05/20/08
Stop commenting! Text! We'll forgive you!
Don't forget to drink while you do it, though.
DCismyBF 05/20/08
Palais... have you starting voting yet?? I didn't think we could yet. (Or do you get special privileges in Canada??)
palais 05/20/08
First off, I'm technically not allowed to vote, since Canadians aren't supposed to vote. Which is why Ariadne and I use Gizmo to circumvent the system. We're clever like that. But I can't vote yet. Not until 9 pm Mountain. I'll be voting as I watch the damn show!
Collin Kelley 05/20/08
I don't think that's the case, cookiemonster. If the top 10 all had to sign to 19 then Sanjaya's album would have already been out by now, as would a number of the other top 10s from previous seasons. I'm pretty sure after the tour Cookie is free to do what he likes.
cookiemonster 05/20/08
it is the case. 19 doesn't have to offer it to anyone, they just have the OPTION. And they have a designated period of time to decide, when the former contestant cannot sign with anyone else in the meantime.
cookiemonster 05/20/08
i'm texting AND gizmoing
SoIntoItGirl 05/20/08
Go Girls GO!
The show starts for me in 9 minutes!
Then I will be a voting fool for 4 hours!
palais 05/20/08
19 has the option to sign any of the top 12 they want. And I believe the post Idol wait is six months.
palais 05/20/08
7 minutes! Whoot!
Collin Kelley 05/20/08
So, what you're saying is that 19 may offer it to Cook, but he doesn't have to accept and when the restriction is lifted, he can do whatever he likes. And I have a feeling that's what he'll do. I mean, he's already had a number one album on Amzaon.com that he self-produced, so I'm sure some label will snap him right up and let him do his thing. I would hate for him to get caught in the 19/Clive Davis machine.
Collin Kelley 05/20/08
Hey...where's Bitten?
cookiemonster 05/20/08
I was wonderin that too. Is the (gasp) voting?
cookiemonster 05/20/08
sorry, "she" texting & typing
cookiemonster 05/20/08
No, he DOES have to accept if they offer. But they don't have to offer.
He's stuck with 19 most likely. They would have to be on crack to let him go.
But, who knows, maybe they like him enough to let him go do his own thing. Doubtful though, since he's gonna sell like hotcakes.
chilekat 05/20/08
Y'all have been a pleasure to read all season. And even though I do not get the D.Cook love at all, I hope he escapes the 19 clutches as I don't think it would be a good fit. I don't know that D.Cook has the juice to pull a Daughtry and fight the power from within. And coming second doesn't allow him to fly as much under the radar as Daughtry could at fourth. Just my two cents. I'm still picking D'Archie for the win.
cookiemonster 05/20/08
Daughtry did sign with 19 though - so there's hope yet.
Collin Kelley 05/21/08
I just went and did some Google searching about the contestants singing with 19. It looks like Cookie will be stuck with them. Which begs the question...what's the point in actually "winning"? I just hope they don't force him into doing craptastic songs that sink the album and them drop him. They've done that before. Justin Guarini, Taylor Hicks...
cookiemonster 05/21/08
yep. that's why I want him to WIN, he's stuck with them either way so why can't my fave win for once?
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