Michael Slezak... I know I wrote one mash note a while back. I needed to say what I said, because I adore the man in a totally " you and I should watch Idol together and put Idolatry on MTV" kinda way. And I love the I Pod checks. I have shared with the man the fact that I a) have a lot of R.E.M. on my IPod and b) I have Roxette's " It Must Have Been Love" on it.
I am part of the mysterious group know as TAWANDA. Yes, we have been quite the talk of the boards, we know. We're everywhere. It started off innocently enough. I made a comment on a Bitten blog. The next thing I know, Bitten and I were commenting back and forth on each other's posts, then others began to join in. She started the Den in order to be able to talk about everything away from curious eyes of lurkers. We were both very different in our styles- Bitten is the queen bee with a potty mouth and the ability to make American Idol borderline pornographic. I'm a musician who sometimes lost her head and would turn all fangirly over a 25 year old Missouri guy and his frickin' Les Paul. We copmliment each other stylistically and tempermentally.
We are not crazy stalkers, despite evidence to the contrary. Seriously. We're mostly Moms at TAWANDA, we're lucky to brush our hair in the morning. Stalking takes up so much time and energy. It was accidental that TV Fan would become the central zone of Cougar madness. Go to TWoP, and you can see Bitten mentioned by name, and links to the posts. She has become a minor celeb in the David Cook blogging world. Thanks to our fans for getting the word out. ( I have fans... mind boggling...)
The truth is, Slezak, we would love a shout out. We don't bite, honestly. Unless that's something you're into... sorry. We do have dirty minds. We are modern women. We work, we have the kids, some of us have kicked the dead weight known as the DH to the curb ( sorry, child support check was late again this week- I'm a little p.o.'d). We cook, clean, run around our cities with kids in the back seat, and we read you religiously ( well, I know I read you religiously. You're a funny guy.)
And of course, Idolatry. The genius. I know that your producer deserves a lot of credit ( he never gets any, does he...) So, to Jason Averett, thank you for Mecha Kristy Lee. That has sustained me for months. But you know that Slezak sells that. And Slezak is the one with that ridiculdonkulously mindblowing Idol knowledge. I couldn't remember Trenyce singing "Proud Mary" until Slezak reminded me.
So, Slezak, my new BFF in my mind, I am just here to say that I, and the gurls in the Den, would love a shoutout when you talk to Mr. SexOnLegs David Cook this week. Or to have him peruse the blogs, because I know my man can handle the NC-17 ramblings of a bunch of thirty-ish women. We're just wives and mothers trying to see if we can get the attention of the coolest guy we know of and seeing if the funny guy we like a lot but seems to think we're all a little crazy but gets to hang out with the object of our affection would just tell him that we think that the cool guy is cute and we'd love to be his date for prom ( ohmigawd! Total high school flashback- me trying to convince Greg Nathanson to tell Sean Harris that I though Sean Harris was cute and I wanted to be his date for grad... I went with my GBFF James, Sean went with local sl-to the-ut April).
Oh, and by the by, Slezak, my GBFF James- he thinks you're cute. He's got a crush. Just so you know.
Love, despite the fact you seem scared of us,
Palais and the rest of the TAWANDA gurls.
PS- tell DC that we need him to do the Sex face. I am begging you...
Comments
ariadne 05/25/08
Brilliant, Palais. And I know that both Slezak and His Utterly Hawtness DC know exactly what you mean by the Sex face. Dayum! (as Bitten says) Those CFM eyes ought to come with warnings. Nah, the entire Package (if you grasp my meaning) should come with THTH warnings.
And Slezak has become one of my heros too. Man's got a way with words and a succulent sense of humour, too. Maybe he and DC will be BFFs?
JWG 05/25/08
TAWANDA's rule (and we've got darn good spokeswomen. Great job, Palais. Again, if this doesn't get it done, man's got a heart of stone).
bardgal 05/25/08
niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!!!!
I think that's purrrrrrrrrrfect,
Scarlett 05/25/08
That was great......and I am all for a showing of CFM eyes!
Bitten 05/25/08
So Slezak... this blogging shout-out to YOU was started by DCismyBF and followed up by separate blogs from Scarlett, bardgal, Bitten, SoIntoItGirl, palais and JWG (at last count, I think). Show us some love, now won't ya?
Bitten 05/25/08
Oh, and nice job (as always) palais.
palais 05/25/08
Thank you, Ladies.
Yes, A, I know what you mean. Top Three Group song I know what you mean...
DCismyBF 05/25/08
I just love the voice of reason. I also love a good potty-mouth. Man we are a gifted bunch 'o Cougars!! Who WOULDN'T want to read our stuff??
bardgal 05/25/08
So say we all.
palais 05/25/08
I actually find it sad that I try to be the voice of reason. Happier that I fail at it so hardcore.
Hard core...
Sorry.
DCismyBF 05/25/08
Hey Gurl... It's the voice of reason that just might get the job done with Mr. Slezak!
The lust-filled potty blogs are great for entertainment and camaraderie, but we are in some SERIOUS business NEGOTIATIONS here. We need some teeth to our claims! You never fail. You always hit it out of the park!! We need ya Boo.... *snicker*
palais 05/25/08
DC, did you just call me Boo?
Wrong fandom, gurl.
DCismyBF 05/25/08
I know. Couldn't resist. I was just going to write "we need you" But the Boo just slipped out.
If I was a true Archie fan I certainly wouldn't reference THAT song... They're still trying to sweep that one under the rug!!
palais 05/25/08
True enough.
That cracked me up.
Boo.
AC 05/25/08
Is Slezak really interviewing DC this week????
palais 05/26/08
Yes!!!!!!
How heavenly is that? My favorite EW writer and SexOnLegs.
takenbutsmitten 05/27/08
Well thought out and articulated. Hopefully, Slezak will step up for us ladies.
gitarmom 05/27/08
I don't know, I may have drifted into stalker territory. Does driving 3-1/2 hours each way to an Idol concert in August make me a stalker?
palais 05/27/08
No, Gitarmom, it makes you a fan. More than five, stalker. More than seven, a danger to yourself and possible commitment is required. Out of the country... Unless you live in Detroit or Vancouver, you are officially loony tunes and should be stopped at the border and possibly held for detention.
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