These are those guilty pleasure films we all have. The ones we almost never admit we have seen let alone like. The basic criteria here is that the film had to be shooting for the stars and not even clear the tower. I will be the first to step forward and say here are my top five favorite bad movies of all time.

5) Convoy : I love this horrible waste of film! Kris Kristofferson is great in this film . This is truly an American film experience. Three truckers set out on a normal cross country trip. They get hassled by Sherriff Lyle "Cottonmouth" Wallace. This sparks Burt Young, Love Machine/ Pig Pen and comedian Franklin Ajaye ,Spider Mike, to keep the hammer down and before you know it they got themselves a convoy. Kris Kristofferson, Rubber duck, leads this odd crew across most of the south west. What are they truckin for? I really don't remember. All I know is the duck gets shot and the funeral procession is full of 18 wheelers and one bus full of religious people complete with a hippie preacher. I love this movie! The open road , CB jargon, and a country ballad theme that runs through out. If you have a spare two hours and feel like watching a movie that should be about something but is clearly about nothing this is your pick.

4) Battle beyond the stars : Do they get any worse, and by worse I mean totally awesome, than anything by Roger Coreman? This film had a space ship that resembles the cows head drawing of the female reproductive system we all saw in health class. The star here was Richard Thomas. That's right John Boy. He plays a Luke Skywalkerish space pilot. It has been so long since I saw this film and I really would love to see it again. I remember seeing it in the theater when I was probably 8 or 9. I loved this film it spoke to my sci-fi geek in a very special way. This is the most expensive film Coreman made. It also featured a young James Cameron in the special effects department. This movie was absolutely awesome. I think I even went to the theater and saw it by myself. The beginning of an era for me.

3) Grease II : What was Michelle Pfeiffer thinking?????? One summer I spent at my dads he had one movie channel and this is film was on like every third movie. I have the soundtrack, on vinyl, and loved every cheesy musical number from rock-a-hula luau to the reproduction song. This is a formulaic experience. New guy moves to town, falls in love with the cool girl, does home work for bad guys to earn money for a motorcycle, and then poof he is the "Cool Rider". Several of the original Grease cast members do appear in this film. I have always wondered why Jeff Conaway took a pass on this? This film brings fond summer memories for me from a life time ago.

2) Flash Gordon : Queen does the soundtrack. The entire sound track! I like Bohemian Rhapsody, Radio Ga Ga and Fat Bottom Girls as much as the next straight guy, but they do the entire sound track! The film was released in 1980. At the time the biggest star was Max Von Sydow who plays the evil Emperor Ming beautifully. We all know the story here so I will not get to far into a synopses. if you need that, well that is what IMBD.com is for. The special effects, which really should not be called special or even effects, are really something to see. It looks as though the laser blasts were painted on to every frame in which they appear. Some actors of note that appear in the film Timothy Dalton, the worse bond ever, playing Prince Barin and cult icon Richard O'Brien as Fico. that's it. Really that is the star studded cast of this horrific master piece. Now do not get me wrong I love this film. This is my favorite way to waste an afternoon. every time I see it on I am compelled to watch it. The story is good, the acting is mediocre at best and the writing well... it is the story of flash Gordon all American foot ball hero who saves earth from the clutches of the evil emperor Ming. The thing writes itself, and appears to have done just that. The best part of the whole movie? The theme song so big and wonderful the synth pop keyboards doubled with the excellent guitar of Brian May. And those lyrics "Flash ....A-ah savior of the universe" well its better if you hear it.

1) Big trouble in Little China : It's like old Jack Burton always says " in this mixed up work a day world don't waste your money on movies that dispense advice from fathers in the opening scene". this movie is one of my all time favorite bad movies. Kurt Russell's character is, a truck driving take no prisoners gambling drinking womanizing man (think gay Snake Plisken), caught in an ancient Chinese battle of good verses evil. Kim Cattrell shows up as an investigative reporter. These two try to track down a kidnapped Chinese girl with green eyes before an evil master, played by the guy from the Seinfeld episode that takes place in the restaurant waiting area, can steel her soul or marry her or something that allows him to live for ever. The acting is clearly acting. I am a fan of Russell and Catrell but I have seen better acting in community college plays. Hell, I have done better acting in community college plays. This is that perfect Saturday after noon film. Edited or full version does not matter. You can watch it fall asleep and pick it up right away not missing a thing. It truly is my all time favorite bad movies.