Somehow I blinked and missed the promotional coverage for the newest season of The Bachelor because all of a sudden, there was Kelly Ripa talking about roses again one early morning. Although that is one reality show to which I am proud to say I never succumbed, I have always gotten a kick out of the idea of kicking contestants off by denying them the very symbol that our society has deemed a symbol of love, ultimately making them feel unworthy, regardless of how undesirable the man on the other end of the stem may actually turn out to be. On Best Week Ever, Doug Benson has become known as the Pop Culture Bachelor, handing out flowers to the week's stories that gave him the warm and fuzzies, but indulge me in something a bit different, hmm?

So, Tonight on a Very Special DanielleTBD.Blogspot.Com, TV's Worst Boyfriends:

First up has to be one-half of pop culture's so-called perfect couples (and clearly I don't agree with that assessment), Ross Geller from Friends. Putting the whole "three divorces" thing-- and the fact that he will often forget he's on a date with you and leave to go do something else (ahem, Mona)-- aside, Ross is the epitome of the "friend guy" in romantic comedies. In fact, though Rachel admitted she never looked at him in a romantic sense, the only reason she changed her mind after learning he had been pining for her since they were kids was because Ross-- in a daydream, I might add-- told her to "start looking." In reality, though, it's never so cut and dry. If there's a guy in your life who has always been just your friend-- not even a rogue kiss or two here and there-- it's that way for a reason. Sometimes you're just not attracted to someone, or you think you wouldn't mesh well on a romantic (or even purely sexual) level. There's nothing wrong with that... except when the guy tries to guilt or pity you into dating him. So because Ross ultimately "wore Rachel down" (and since when are we teaching guys that "No doesn't really mean No?"), he leads the pack for those who will never get one of my roses.

Following that lead is Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother), the kind of guy who says everything you want to hear, so it all seems perfect at first. Only as you travel down the relationship road with him, though, do you realize that it's not you he's interested in but the act of getting married in general. He wants to be in a relationship so badly, it doesn't even matter with who he's in it, and he ends up projecting so many of his hopes and desires onto you without ever stopping to consider who you are and what you might want out of the whole thing. He's extremely selfish and needy, and in that way he's quite the self-sabotager. What's worse is that he doesn't see anything wrong with his behavior and can't figure out why he has such a hard time finding "the one."

Vince (What I Like About You) and the actor who portrayed him-- Nick Zano, who had a habit of reading his own name off teleprompter copy-- had the fact that he was just too dumb for words working against him. There were more misunderstandings between him and Holly than in an average Three's Company episode, and whenever he made a mistake, and they got into a fight, he would just give up and turn to whoever else was around for some physical comfort, further angering his girlfriend by proving he didn't really respect her or their relationship. He was the typical adolescent jock who thought with the wrong head and probably should have outgrown his immaturity years earlier but just cared enough to.

Michael Bluth (Arrested Development) has great hair, a killer smile, and dresses pretty well... and oh yeah, he comes from money and runs a business. Unfortunately, though, his family is more baggage than anyone could handle, and he never actually listens when people around him speak (leading to the kinds of misunderstandings that are only funny if you're on the outside of it), instead always seeming to focus on what he will say or do next. He seems to be well intentioned, but he just comes up short in that distracted, too-much-on-his-plate-and-not-enough-brain-power-to-handle-it sort of way.

Finally, I have to lump all of the guys of Entourage together (yes, each and every single one of the four... well, five if you include the somehow-married Ari) because not one of them is a prize. Though their comradery is admirable in that they stick by each other's sides no matter what, it often gets in the way of how they treat the women in their lives. They, too, are in a state of perpetual adolescence, which gives them the collective emotional maturity of a fourteen year-old. And let's face it, grown men who go to lunch in thousand dollar watches and drawstring track pants doesn't exactly scream "responsible adult." They can barely take care of themselves; how can they be expected to even consider another person's needs or desires? And of course that's rhetorical because they don't care enough to consider it anyway.

I get it, writers, okay? Even the so-called "perfect" guys are flawed because they're all human, but honestly, in a world where women no longer have to rely on men for the things they need (or even want) out of life, you could work a little harder to create men who aren't so... damaged so that their relationships at least seem believable!

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