1. No, MTV, musical ability is not genetic.

2. Being the kid of a rock star sucks exactly as much as you would expect it to. I mean, one by one, the kids interview about how their mom or dad wasn't around much when they were growing up, had trouble with drugs, alcohol and/or money, and now is clean, sober, and kind of a jerk. (The parents are, however, generally adorably supportive after their kids sing. I know it's not saying much, but Bobby Brown has never been more likeable.)

3. Larry Rudolph, former manager of Britney Spears, is exactly as much of a tool as you would expect. That girl never stood a chance.

4. Belinda Carlisle is keeping some plastic surgeon somewhere in business.

5. MTV has to be paying those audience members, because they are irrationally exuberant about hearing the kid of someone they've never heard of butcher some song they've inappropriately dedicated to their parent. (Sorry, Doobie Daughter, but Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You" is not the soundtrack to a happy father-daughter relationship.)