So razzin' frazzin' work made me miss live blogging about Idol. So sad. Well, better late than never to post my musings, no?  I'm gonna tackle both performance and results night in the same post.  That way, no one will question whether or not my judging remarks are real or . . . scripted.  (dun, Dun, DUN!!!!)  Overall, I gotta say I was deeply underwhelmed by Neil Diamond night.

Syesha Mercado - Hello Again

Y'all, she can really sing. Who knew? The beginning was very sweet and . . . almost subtle. Even the scream-y parts were not as scream-y as they could've been. She had some pitch challenges, yes, especially in her lower register. But overall it was quite lovely and restrained. Who is she, again? Also, thank you, production team, for finding someone who knows how to work a pressing comb. If you're going to insist on straightening her hair, at least make Madame CJ proud.

Syesha, Part 2 - Thank the Lord for the Night Time

Hmm, taking it up tempo for the second song. Ok. This was sassy. You know, Syesha really does a lot better on the jazzy, fun numbers. She was just a teeny bit under the pitch again, but still . . . this was fun. But also kind of reminiscent of some Sister Act II outtake, you know, with the kids rehearsing with Whoppi for the big concert? And there's one girl who didn't go on to become Lauren Hill but she finally got her solo? And then the director cut it because it just wasn't all that overwhelming? Yeah, it was kinda like that. Competent, but nothing to shout about.

David Archuleta - Sweet Caroline

Yuck. I should've known D'Archie would pick one of my least favorite ND songs. And the thought of D'Archie singing this song about/to Caroline Kennedy is making me need a Tums. Eeeww. And he was in very bad voice last night. That first note was a crime against music. He was really scraping the bottom of his lower register AGAIN.

Well, this confirms my long held belief that teenage boys, even ones as good as I generally think D'Archie is, are not made for this competition. Just no. His voice sounded foul, y'all. He needs to go somewhere and drink hot tea with honey and mint for a week and not talk. There were so, so many rank notes there. Sigh. Poor D'Archie. It's like he's trying to ruin the David/David finale of Nigel's dreams.

D'Archie, Part 2 - America

I can't, y'all. I just don't think I can. See my earlier rant about Kristy Lee when she sang Lee Greenwood. And it's just twenty million times as gross here because you know his Svengali, child-eating, stage father pushed this song on him as a way to grab votes in a week where his voice finally just gave up the ghost. Aren't there laws against this sort of thing? Really? This is like some Triangle Shirtwaist fire level stuff. Let this poor child go home. That third "They're coming to America" in or so? Painful. Yuck. I hated everything about this performance. Poor noodle.

Brooke White - I'm A Believer

Wow. I actually think this was a really excellent song choice for her, but with her state of mind the last couple of weeks, wasn't sure if she could really pull it off. Well, she started the song out way too low, so consequently she was hella flat. And sounded like an absolute terror. Oh god, y'all. This was so decidedly not good. Just out of tune and warbly. Ugh. I love me some Brooke White, but please everyone, let's send this girl home. She just does not have the stuff to win. This was bad. Painful bad. All the "woos" in the world won't help (and just bring up unfortunate Taylor Hicks memories, which I'm certain is not what she was going for)

Brooke, Part 2 - I am, I said

I've never understood or particularly cared for this song, but I had a hard time thinking how it could be any worse than the last one. So, she gave it a whirl. She usually does a little better with a piano accompaniment. And she started off at least closer to the key. Yes, this was better. However, just as I remembered, this song is strange and off putting. I was really bored by the performance, but at least she sang it better than the first. Overall, yawn.

David Cook - I'm Alive

Sigh. Most of them were so bad last night (only Syesha gets a pass) that he had the chance to come off looking good by comparison. And then he came out with the hair.  Good grief the hair. Why is it just getting worse and worse as the weeks go by? Is the crazy, giant forehead trying to hack its way out of the hair jungle? He even had the Alfalfa strands working in the back, too. Ick. From the jump, I didn't like it. He was flat, flat, flat as well. And he was trying to rock/emo the hell out of it. Again. Some more. Damn, why did all the kids sound like holy hell this week? Was it going up to two songs? Dude sounded like some 12 pack a day Marlboro man nursing a Bud Light in the back of a catgut bar at the Greyhound station with a beat up karaoke machine in the corner. And not in the good way.

D. Cook, Part 2 - All I Really Need is You

Hmm. I don't know this song at all. But he sounded at least better than the first time. He still sounds like a Three Doors Down cover band singer, but he always sounds like that, so . . . I guess for him this was good? Whatever. I coulda had a V8. The judges, as usual, are on crack when it comes to this kid. But what else is new?

Jason Castro - Forever in Blue Jeans

He's so pretty, y'all. I just want him to come and sit on a stool next to my desk and stare at me all day with those big, blue eyes. And occasionally talk some crazy stoner talk and make me laugh. And then strum a little ditty on his guitar.

I thought I didn't know this song either, but once it started I totally recognized it.  I kinda love when that happens. And at least he hit his first note which automatically means that I like this song better than anything else I heard last night. I thought he turned it out. What a lovely song choice for him. He totally did his Jason Castro thing and he was working it. He has no range whatsoever, but that's always been true. He's just got that earnest, Jason thing, and at least for me, it totally works. And he was consistently in tune and had a nice rhythm and flow throughout the song for the first time on the night, which automatically made him the big winner as far as I was concerned.

Jason, Part 2 - September Morn

Once again, he started off strong. He was in really good voice last night. This was an interesting pick for him. He was doing a little bit jazzier Jason. Not quite so folksy as he can be. Wow. I really liked him last night. And normally, I like him mainly for the Castro stoner-ness of it all, but I was really enjoying his singing last night. Bravo, pretty face man. You done good. Well, you biffed the last note, but I'll give you a pass because everything else was quite nice. And because you're so, so pretty.

Based on the performance night, I really believed that Brooke, or even D'Archie, should go. But I thought, despite having what I think was one of the night's stronger performances,that Syesha probably would go. I really believed that she just didn't have the fan base to make it past the rest of this bunch.  And she didn't have a stellar week, like last week, only a solid one.

Jason Castro was the only performer I really enjoyed last night. D. Cook did the same damn thing he always did, so if you like that, then it was right up your alley (though I insist his first song sucked balls). And Brooke and D'Archie were ridiculous bad.

Results night

And of course I was very, very wrong.  But that's ok because the person that I wanted to go went home. 

I am surprised, however, that Brooke went home. Pleasantly, but still. I don't think it was Syesha's strength, but rather America's collective desire to not continue with the Brooke Breaks Down '08 tour. I really do believe it's for the best here, but I like Brooke and hope to see her at a coffee house near me soon.

In other fun news, I wonder if Syesha can play the Kimberly Lock spoiler role this season and prevent an all boy Top 3? The all boy Top 3 would be a first if it happened. Who'da thunk it this deep into the show, we have the possibility for a first time occurrence? And it looks like we'll definitely have an all male top 2 for the first time since Clay and Rube. It just remains to be seen whether it's the two Davids or if Jason can sneak in.

I have no comment about the judging "controversy" with Paula from last night. If you didn't know that the judging on the show is rigged by now, in season seven, then you haven't really been paying attention. AI has a firm pimp hand, as any true playa would.