The Top 12: Elimination | American Idol S:7 E:21
Horton Eliminates A Stripper
By Collin Kelley , 03/12/2008, 7 Comments
I'm going to call tonight's bizarre Top 12 results show Horton Hears A Ho, because they devoted most of the hour to pimping out Fox's big-budget animated film that just happens to open Friday. Ugh! The show started two minutes early on the east coast at 7:58 p.m. They did some lame bit with the animated cast of Horton gathering to watch the show, then Jim "I'm contractually obligated to be in this elephant costume" Carrey sitting in the audience making desperately unfunny jokes. Double ugh! Then, Gaycrest made the shocking announcement that there will be a second week of Lennon and McCartney songs! Noooooo!!! This is a big, big mistake. Last night proved the majority of these contestants do not have the maturity -- or charisma -- to handle such iconic songs. Why would they subject them -- and us! -- to another week? Two words: Cha-ching!
This was followed by one of the messiest group sings ever. I think they were having technical problems on the live feed because you couldn't hear Michael Johns at all when he was singing with Carly and Kristy Lee. Syesha and Ramiele's mics were too low and drowned out by the band going hell for leather on the WORST.BEATLES.MEDLEY.EVER. God, it was a nightmare. From little David Archuleta swiveling his boy hips to David Hernandez doing stripper poses to Amanda Overmyer being stranded on the side of the stage growling like a cat in heat. When they started singing Help! I was screaming my head off, and then to put a giant cherry -- make that raspberry -- on this hot mess they cut to Sanjaya in the audience!
After a commercial break, Gaycrest announced Syesha was in the bottom three and then made her sing. I cannot recall them ever making a contestant sing before they were voted off. After an embarrassing Ford commercial with the contestants singing Cake's The Distance and pretending to be presidential candidates (who thinks this crap up? And does Syesha get paid extra since she was already in Ford commercials before being on AI?), Kristy Lee Cook was put into the bottom three. She hilariously apologized for murdering Eight Days a Week by saying, "Sorry you have to hear it again." Me, too, honey. She sang it, kicked it like a dead mule and you could see in her face that she thought she was going back to her horseless farm. Remember she sold that horse to go to auditions. Awwwww.... blech.
To kill even more time, they did a call in where pre-screened fans asked inane questions not even worth repeating here. Oh, wait, one guy said Simon and Gaycrest should duke it out on stage and Gaycrest responded, "load in the mud." Watch out, Miss Ryan, the queen in you is slipping out. After this nonsense, David Foster came out with Idol has been Katherine McPhee to sing Something In The Way She Moves. Kat was dressed like one of ex-Gov. Spitzer's hookers and the whole performance was coma-inducing.
The minor shock of the evening was David Hernandez being in the bottom three. Gaycrest asked him how it felt to be in the bottom three and I couldn't help but blurt out: "Like a night with no tips at Dick's Cabaret." I know, I know...I'm a catty biatch. But you could have knocked my snarky ass over with a feather when they eliminated David. He was not the worst last night, and I hate to say it, but his gay stripper past had to have played a part in his early departure. Kristy Lee Cook got a huge pass, as did Ramiele Malubay. There were godawful last night and have survived again to butcher more Beatles classics next week. I need a drink.
On a positive note, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's posted at my blog and here at the TVFan site. I pledge to keep being snarky all season long.
Like this recap?
Episode Recaps
-
Topsy Turvy
Kiddies, hold me. The apocalypse is upon us. Tonight, Mark and Chelsie were not my top couple. But hold up a minute because it gets… -
So You Think You Can Dance: Back to Reality
-
So You Think You Can Dance: Cirque du Mark
From EW.com
Comments
Marti 03/12/08
You certainly are negative. But I agree on one thing -- David H. went because of all the media talking about his stripping. Ms. Long Legged Kristy Lee should have gone tonight. She butchered "Eight Days a Week." She's cute, but at the bottom of the talent pole. As far as not hearing Michael - there could have been tech problems, but also if you blend in unison you should not hear everyone singing - it should sound like one voice. I didn't think it was that bad.
Hey! Don't rag on Kat! She is married to a rich producer now. She is all grown up.
I missed hearing that they were going to do more Lennon and McCartney songs next week. Maybe they will pick some of my favorites this time.
I sure do like Michael Johns, cutie Jason Castro, and David Cook. The best by far however is Carley. She can sing!!
From one old hippie who grew up with those songs, making love with those songs in the background, and smokin' weed with those songs playing. I'm happy to hear the songs again.
Can't find my White CD. That would help.
Later,
Marti
CMU 03/12/08
I CANNOT believe David Hernandez was eliminated. He was really a good performer. It is such a shame that the Kris-tron will have another week to assault my ears. She is so awful.
Amy 03/13/08
Don't know why they make them do the group sing things. Their voices never go well together and no matter what they always sound horrible. They should copy DWTS and have the judges pick the best person and have them sing again. That would be much better. Would rather have heard Brooke or Carly again than anything else they did tonight.
Collin Kelley 03/13/08
Marti, it's not negativity, just having fun with this show. I've been watching since season one, so I'm a devoted follower. I definitely agree with you about Carly. She's amazing. Her and Brooke are my favorites right now. Thanks for reading. I was listening to Revolver all day.
Perdy 03/13/08
Kudos go to Brooke White and Carly Smithson for making the evening a joy on Tuesday night.
Sorry to hear David Hernandez had to make an early exit due to malicious minds. But hey, he still got the spotlight at one time or another.
Ramiele, save your breath! I don't get ya.
David Archuleta has my heart as far as the guys go.
Perdy 03/13/08
Kudos go to Brooke White and Carly Smithson for making the evening on Tuesday night an enjoyable one.
I am also in agreement with the idea that David Hernandez was voted off due to his past. Such a shame that malicious actions cause some people to lose out on giving it their all.
But David Archuleta has my heart as far as the guys go.
Ramiele, I don't get ya...try connecting more with us.
suzannable 03/17/08
Um I have no interest in any of the comments on here that complain about this article being so negative. All that I have to say to those people is WAKE UP!!!! Did anyone actually watch the show, because if they had, they like me would absolutely agree 100% with everything written!
Add a comment
Remember to keep it clean. Bad words will get filtered, and offensive comments will be removed. More Guidelines