Chickie's Take on the Top 5

Jason: "Forever in Blue Jeans." Ok, typical Jason David Cook: "I'm Alive." Good Brooke: "I'm a Believer." Catastrophic David Archuleta: "Sweet Caroline." Oy vey Syesha: "Hello Again." Goodbye Jason: "September Morn." Ok, typical Jason David Cook: "All I Really Need is You." Fantastic Brooke: "I Am...I Said." Better than "I'm a Believer." David Archuleta: "America." Figures Syesha: "Thank the Lord for the Night Time." Thank the Lord it was short. So that's my take on Neil Diamond week. Thanks for reading! What? You didn't like my review? Well...I put exactly as much time and effort into it as they did with the show last night, so how could you not like it? IS IT ANY WONDER WHY AMERICAN IDOL IS LOSING RATINGS?? Last night's show was an abomination. What are the producers thinking? They're busy sending out surveys so they can learn why people are tuning out, but the answer is right under their noses. I swear it seemed like some of these performances were 20 seconds. Ryan Seacrest was talking so quickly throughout the whole show, I figured he'd overdone the crystal meth and would be the next one carted off to the hospital to have his blood pressure checked. By the end of the show, I was so annoyed I actually uttered the words, "I'm never watching this show again." Yes, I've become one of them. I have to say that as the weeks have gone by, I have been rating the contestants not just by their live performances but also by their studio versions on iTunes, which is probably unfortunate for the show itself. Why tune in when you can just download? Why have the contestants sing longer when you can just hear the whole song online? I'm wondering if maybe the whole iTunes thing has turned around to bite them in the butt. Anyway...my comments above, abbreviated as they are, are my accurate opinions. It seems the Randy is ready for Jason to leave, and that's a possibility this week. Jason's studio versions of the Neil Diamond songs will be better than his performances, but I didn't think he was bad. We'll see if Jason gets to stick around another week. Honestly I don't think I could even judge David Cook's first song because it was so short. What I heard sounded good. He really blew me away on the second one. I can't wait to hear his studio version of it. I suppose I should thank American Idol for introducing me to DC though. I'm am now full-fledged in love with this guy. I've even had my first sex dream about him. mmmmm.... Just in case anyone's wondering, he's really, reaaaallllly gooooooood... mmmmmm.... Brooke looks like she's aging to me. She looked uncomfortable and like a deer in the headlights during "I'm a Believer," which was a horrible choice for her. I thought she was much better during "I Am...I Said," but maybe that's because it was only about 15 seconds long. "America" is another horribly predictable song choice for Disney David. Randy really wants David A to win because he's constantly praising this kid's mediocrity. "Sweet Caroline" did nothing for me. Nothing. But Randy thought it was da bomb again. I don't get it. Maybe Randy is afraid of Evil Stage Dad. We all talked through Syesha's first song, which in our house is a sure sign that the contestant is boring us. She was kind of cute and animated during her second song, although I still didn't like it. She'll probably do well on Broadway. Maybe. So who will go home? I would be my house it's not Disney D or my new sexual fantasy, David Cook, so let's rule those two out right away. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Jason or Syesha. I suppose there's only one way to find out for sure - tune in tonight. Last night's show was over in a flash, but I'm sure they'll have no problem dragging out tonight's debacle. Thanks for reading!