The Top 4: Elimination | American Idol S:7 E:38
Janice Muppet's Outta There!
By Collin Kelley , 05/07/2008, 11 Comments
My respect for Steely Dan dropped several notches after they apparently approved the use of Reelin' In The Years for the opening group sing on American Idol tonight. I hope Walter and Donald caught this cabaret crap and won't ever let this happen again. They cut to Judge Judy in the audience and I wanted her to come up on stage and pound her gavel on this criminal season of American Idol. I'm over it.
The attempts by the producers to make the Top 4 relevant in the face of diminishing returns of Idol winners (Taylor Hicks and Reuben dropped by their record labels, Fantasia shuttled off to Broadway, Jordin Sparks only doing so-so) has now jumped the shark into full desperation. Sending them to see the Beatles' Cirque du Soleil performance in Las Vegas, posing them in iconic Beatles poses and arranging for a bunch of screaming women in mom jeans to line a red carpet must have been humiliating to at least one of them. I'll hand it to David Cook, he knows how to put on a game face amid the barrage of schmaltz. Even being forced to wear the tight matador pants in the worst Ford commercial ever -- and showcasing the Top 4's collective dumpy asses -- couldn't flummox Cookie the Combover.
Maroon 5 and former Idol Bo Bice pimped their new music. Yawn. The Q&A provided a peak into the smoke-filled mind of Jason "Janice Muppet" Castro when a caller asked what the contestants' biggest challenge had been. Jason pointed at his head and said, "Uhhh...the brain being dead." Doh!
David and Tickle Me Archuleta were sent to safety first, putting Syesha and Bongwater in the bottom two. Miss Ryan said 51 million people had voted last night and the top three were only separated by about 1 million votes each. But in the end, America got it right and the Jasonloonies were unable to save him. Ryan said he looked relieved to be leaving and I think that's the case. Goofy to the last, he made some comment about "shooting the Tambourine Man" and laughed and flipped his dreds around during his final sing. Luckily, there was only a minute left in the broadcast and we were spared another massacre of I Shot the Sheriff. Syesha at least owes him a happy ending for saving her boring ass yet another week.
Two weeks left! David vs. David. Place your bets.
The attempts by the producers to make the Top 4 relevant in the face of diminishing returns of Idol winners (Taylor Hicks and Reuben dropped by their record labels, Fantasia shuttled off to Broadway, Jordin Sparks only doing so-so) has now jumped the shark into full desperation. Sending them to see the Beatles' Cirque du Soleil performance in Las Vegas, posing them in iconic Beatles poses and arranging for a bunch of screaming women in mom jeans to line a red carpet must have been humiliating to at least one of them. I'll hand it to David Cook, he knows how to put on a game face amid the barrage of schmaltz. Even being forced to wear the tight matador pants in the worst Ford commercial ever -- and showcasing the Top 4's collective dumpy asses -- couldn't flummox Cookie the Combover.
Maroon 5 and former Idol Bo Bice pimped their new music. Yawn. The Q&A provided a peak into the smoke-filled mind of Jason "Janice Muppet" Castro when a caller asked what the contestants' biggest challenge had been. Jason pointed at his head and said, "Uhhh...the brain being dead." Doh!
David and Tickle Me Archuleta were sent to safety first, putting Syesha and Bongwater in the bottom two. Miss Ryan said 51 million people had voted last night and the top three were only separated by about 1 million votes each. But in the end, America got it right and the Jasonloonies were unable to save him. Ryan said he looked relieved to be leaving and I think that's the case. Goofy to the last, he made some comment about "shooting the Tambourine Man" and laughed and flipped his dreds around during his final sing. Luckily, there was only a minute left in the broadcast and we were spared another massacre of I Shot the Sheriff. Syesha at least owes him a happy ending for saving her boring ass yet another week.
Two weeks left! David vs. David. Place your bets.
Comments
cookiemonster 05/07/08
Now Collin, you know we love you, but you are in serious sistahood trouble territory if you call him Combover again!
cookiemonster 05/07/08
and yes, I realize you are a dood.
Collin Kelley 05/08/08
Mea culpa. I'll only refer to him as Combforward from here on out. :)
AnalogGirl 05/08/08
Yes, well as much as I completely and totally love Mr. Cook, the green matador pants were definitely the least favorite of his fashion obligations this year. Seriously, no wonder he looked green singing on Tuesday night. I wince for him with every cheesy, corny, ridulous situation and pose that show puts them all in. Just hang in there David, two more weeks.
AnalogGirl 05/08/08
Yes, as much as I completely and totally love Mr. Cook, I must say that the green matador pants were definitely my least favorite of the fashion choices they have forced upon him. Why humiliate them so??? Seriously, no wonder he looked rather green during Tuesday's performances. Those pants can't be healthy. I wince for them all for the things they have to do on AI. Only 2 more weeks David C.!
Rose Tyler 05/08/08
Collin dearest who are you rooting for? Or do you just like to make snarky comments about all the contestants? Which is cool and all.
ellie 05/08/08
ha. combforward.
Collin Kelley 05/09/08
I'm rooting for a David vs. David finale and I really don't care which of them wins. My fave was Brooke until she totally tanked a few weeks back. Loved Carly, too.
Rose Tyler 05/09/08
Looky there we have something else in common. Brooke was my favorite too! Over on popwatch Whitney made the observation that Idol just isn't for daydreamers like Brooke and Jason. I think she's right.
seahawks08 05/12/08
Jasonloonie hear to defend him. America only got it right because that is what he wanted and nothing more. It was obvious he wanted to go and there is no way on earth if he had even tried a little syesha could have beat him and if he had given it his all like halleiugh and somewhere over the rainbow , one of the davids would not have made it to the top two. this jason loony is signing off now. can't wait to buy jason's album.
Guitar Hero 05/12/08
Seahawks, you are a ****!ng idiot. Why is it so hard for you to understand that no one is interested in your poor grammar and 12-year old musings?
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