Death, Taxes and David vs David

In between endless loops of "Bleeding Love" and "No Air" Ryan chatted up Denise Richards on the morning show.  Again lamenting over gay rumors and his inability to find true love.  Classic moment when Denise said (and I paraphrase), "I've seen a lot of pictures of you with 20 year olds...perhaps you should try someone your own age."  Or older.  Take heed Mr. Cook.  No good can come of associating with those young girls.  I then had to turn off the radio when Ry's sidekick Ellen actually went there and started to suggest he hook up with Denise...could not listen to both of them try to squirm their way out of that one.

Anyhoo...I was actually not worried about the vote this week.  With all the producer pimpin' I figured there would be some dropped calls if the numbers didn't work out quite right.  Not like RRHOF week...going first and getting luke warm reviews I feared a  Michael Johns moment, and judging by the repentent bad dog look on DC's face, I think he did too.  I actually voted...124 times.  Hey, I have unlimited cell minutes and redial...why not.

TiVo missed the beginning...I hate when that happens.  But I did get to hear "THIS is American Idol."  Randy is wearing some jewelry that his kids made.  Or maybe that was a gift from the Embryo for his over the top support the night before (gosh Randy, look what me and the tutors made in class today...tee hee).  Paula is looking, again, hot.  Love the dress.  Ryan feels the need to mention her cleavage.  Nope, everyone still thinks you're gay dude.  Simon has been sucking the nitrous again...I don't think I've ever seen this guy as animated as he's been the last couple of shows.  Maybe they gave him the word Randy isn't coming back (yay)?  Or Ry is leaving to become the next Larry King (tiny tear)?  Can't be Ryan...he already has 1500 jobs...what's one more? 

OMG the group number.  This is almost too embarassing to watch.  Now that there are only three people singing the producers feel the need to add choreography the middle school tall flags team would refuse to do.  This looks eerily reminiscent of the Fetus dance moves from With You (which would be spreading his legs wide apart, clutching the mic,  leaning forward and rocking from side to side not quite in time with the music, and occasionally walking frenetically around the stage in no discernable pattern).  Syesha is right at home.  This is sorta like Broadway, right?  But dear god no real man should ever be made to do this.  I cannot belive Mistersexyaltrocker is playing this totally straight and serious.  You gotta love him for that.  Well, I do.  Wait...I thought I read somewhere that he said he couldn't dance?  Au contraire, mon amour!  I have now rewound the little gravevine move a couple dozen times.  He's got rhythm and the hips are gyrating ...we're not Elvis yet, but definite potential.  And the solo.  Kinda weird what do I do with this arm thing going on.  What is he pointing at?  Oh.  Yes.  May I just say well chosen jeans.  Quite emphasizing all the attributes.  I'd point that out too, baby.  

The video...always a highlight.  I love this song.  I'd love it more if the Fetus' voice wasn't overwhelming everyone else.  Except for that one line while Hotness is front of the cars (does anyone care that there would not really be a single Ford parked in front of a house like this, especially not a Focus?).  Now I really want a full length version with only DC.  Get on that, will you?  Oh, look at my baby acting!  The little "surprise!" face he made when the keys dropped out...so precious.  And we got to see him run.  Once again flashing to the couch, DC looks embarassed at seeing himself on the video.  I had to say I was with ya on the green matador pants baby, but you got nothing to be ashamed of this week.

56 million votes, none of them mine.  This is the only way DC loses next week...people over the age of 12 who can't be bothered to vote...but meanwhile spend countless hours lurking on AI sites and writing occasional blogs...ok.

Performance recap.  Yep, butterflies still at the first note of Face.  I am actually really liking the "Dare You to Move" song now...probably because they just played the good part.  IDWTMAT...I'm happy that Hotness is now hitting the high hard notes without baring quite as much of his teeth...can occasionally reach a point where we go from supersexy to Jack Nicholson as the Joker and that's a hard image to have burned on the retinas.  May I say again that the whole look on that last song was slammin.

Fantasia.  I didn't watch that season, but I've heard how amazing she was and that she had some of the best vocals ever heard on AI.  I can't wait to hear me some of that.  OK, still waiting.  I don't really get this, and it's actually making me angry.  Kind of like experimental jazz does.  Simon is aghast.  Why oh why can't he judge this performance ...Jason could be out of the cellar. 

When was the last time the Fetus wasn't called out first.  Oh no, please don't show that bow-legged shot from behind.  Home to Murray UT. Fetus seems genuinely thrilled and amazed by the attention.  The goshes are flying.   Crowd is definitely young and 90% female...keep an eye on a couple of those old guys hanging around.  Best line of the season..."gosh, where did they park?"  That was sweet...I like the Fetus.  "That was so embarassing...they showed a lot of me crying...gosh!"  Of course he can't wipe the sexy pointy Cowboy boots of Hotness, but we are magnanimous because DC makes us want to be better humans.

Syesha home to Sarasota FL.  This made me a little sad...obviously not the same turnout.  It's hard when your fan base isn't little girls.  Lots of narrow camera shots...make those 21 people look like 2000.  Syesha has definitely had the harder life journey...now we know where girlfriend got the cojones to hang in there during all those weeks in the bottom two.  Ok the handstand thing...I don't ever need to see that again.  Ever.  Did it really have to be shot from that angle also?  Somewhere some camera guy is laughing his a** off.

Babybabybaby... it's so cute that he's nervous.  Syesha said when she called into Ryan's morning show (yes, I know, don't even say it) that David Cook always thought he was going home.  Not so fast, Hotness.  They only get you back temporarily.  I really want to find the producer who recognized greatness and made DC audition and buy him/her a drink.  Or a house.  Well DONE.  Andrew... looks a lot like Adam, but what throwback recessive genepool did David draw from?  DC goes home to KC...MO not KS (sorry, private joke). I'm kinda liking the baseball cap/scruff look.  What's on the iPod, Dave?  Wonder if he listens to himself.  Hell, I'd have myself on friggin continous replay.  So... if AI was decided by Homecoming turnout the race would be over.   Wow ...police escort.  This is by and large a more mixed crowd with no shortage of people who look like ... they are from the Midwest.  (Hey, I lived there for a while so I know whereof I speak).  Let's just say I now know how David could have been voted Mr. Cougar... I mean Jaguar ...in his high school, which apparently is some sort of beauty /popularity contest.  Ok cutest moment ever when he walks out on stage and goes "what?!"  Yes, dude, you are a rock star.  Ok, people are actually lining the streets for what looks like miles.  This is crazy.  Granted, there is not a lot to do in Kansas City.  Ok Andrew looks a bit cuter there.  The brotherly love is cool though.  They're both crying.  Well, pinching their nose to prevent crying, which is what real midwestern men do.  And looking good in the jersey...number 8 happens to be my fave.  Trust me, this will be the highlight of the Royals season.  

I must mention what they didn't show...a completely awesome acoustic version of My Hero, which presumably could not be cleared to air.  Pleez Dave Grohl...you ARE the nicest guy in RNR ... show us some love and license this song before the finals!  Is AI really any cheesier than Monday Night Football?  OK don't answer that.  But y'all should go to youtube and see this...it's a classic. 

Oooo...Hotness is SO over Randy.  Ry called Randy on his weird judging last night, and Hotness stood there total deadpan until Randy said, "he knows what I mean" and DC raised one eyebrow like, "uh, no, I have no f'ing idea what you mean."  As Randy digs himself deeper Hotness is nodding his head yes but his eyes are saying, "I'm so glad I'm me and not you."

Now the elim.  Oh, I want to hold hands with Hotness!  Not fair!  Of course, Fetus is safe.  OK, I no longer feel sorry for Syesha...now he's got his arm around her.  Question:  does DC add a new necklace every week?  I think we've reached critical mass.  Sorry...Hotness is of course safe, and now he's hugging Syesha and has the good grace to not look wildly happy.  Total restraint all the way to the end of the show...dutifully standing and clapping as she sings and then coming over to show support.  What a man!