Big Brother

By Lynette Rice What a horrifying week in the Big Brother house ??? and I'm not just talking about Sunday's nontelevised re-enactment of Caligula. (We'll get to that later.) Allison's beeline to the diary room Tuesday was a certainly an unexpected development. Did she want to quit? Was she hoping the producers would punish Sheila for her incessant yapping? Was she going to beg for the construction of an Olympic track in the BB backyard? Then I started hearing Allison's plaintive wail about wanting an EpiPen and realized this chick was in some serious trouble. Nobody asks for an EpiPen unless they're ??? well, I actually had no idea why anybody asks for an EpiPen until I WebMD'd it the following morning. Turns out if you have a history of allergic reactions ??? and serious fear of going into anaphylactic shock ??? you should request a shot of epinephrine. And that was only the beginning of this special ER edition of BB! Minutes later, Amanda was halfheartedly filing her acrylic nails while inquiring about Natalie's confectionary delight when ??? bam! ??? Bueno Babe was out cold on the floor. To say that I was immediately consumed with fear and anxiety would be...a flat-out lie. I honestly thought Amanda was faking! When she started complaining about being hypoglycemic, my first reaction was ''You just hate the slop, beeyotch!'' So I naturally assumed Amanda was trying to gain sympathy with a faux collapse so Natalie would relinquish her cookie.

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