The March Into Oblivion

Hey Upper East Siders!

Perhaps it's just me, but as great as it is to have all of our favorite shows on post-WGA strike, I'm feeling like the writers' rush and mayhem to wrap up all their respective seasons by putting eight episodes of plot into four or five are backfiring. It's noticeable on "Ugly Betty," and horribly ruined the pacing of the last two "Brothers and Sisters" to the point where none of the twists and turns gave the viewer any sort of emotional resonance. And now that's happening with "Gossip Girl."

There is so much happening in this episode that it is almost easy to overlook the huge plot discrepancies that often occur in Every. Single. Scene. The writers are definitely falling back on some of the most time-honored clichés (read: lazy moves) to get to their finale, and the results are not ringing true for any of our characters.

It's almost as if the creators want us to punctuate every plot twist with an "OMFG!" Well, wish granted.

S killed someone, OMFG! Well, not really. It turns out all she did was give him a line of cocaine that caused him to overdose. Even though it is nearly impossible for someone to overdose on cocaine to the point of death (don't ask me how I know this). You have to admit, it was kind of a letdown after all of the buildup after last week's conclusion, and gave the writers an easy way out. Wouldn't it have been more emotional, and more truthful, to have that guy, whoever his name was, to have some tie to one of the main player's families? Or have S actually, you know, KILL him by having to stop him from raping her? Ah well, this way we can have Lily go through this huge emotional rollercoaster of seeing her daughter almost create a sex tape, threaten to send her to Reform School, then contact the family of the guy S "killed", take S to the house and tell her not to worry, it's not her fault at all. All in the course of three-and-a-half scenes. Thank God Kelly Rutherford is a good enough actress to pull off the scenes, otherwise the episode would have been even more of a mess.

S told Dan she slept with someone, and they broke up, OMFG! Honestly, this entire thing stank of lazy writing and bad characterization on both Dan and S' part. Dan would have not walked out like that, he would have tried talking to S in private, and S had no reason to lie to him, and her guilt complex was not an excuse.

G and Dan kissed, OMFG! Read last week's recap to see why, even following the show's already barely-there continuity, this could never have happened. It feels like an exclamation point the episode did not need to end it, and cheapens the character of Dan greatly.

Lisa Loeb was a guest star, OMFG! Well, I liked that, and don't tell me you didn't either.

B brought the boys in to take care of S, OMFG! Sorry, lazy writers, but there was no reason for the guys to be there. They did nothing other than to stand there and look pretty. And as funny as hearing their various sins were when they recounted them to S (my fave? Chuck's summation of his sins with the simple "I'm Chuck Bass."), there was no reason for B to pretty much force S to tell them what she did, especially Chuck, who would obviously use the information in the future. Not buying it.

After having a huge emotional revelation last episode, Eric has completely disappeared, OMFG! Wouldn't one scene to see how he was coping with his sexuality be too much?

Rufus and Lily kissed, OMFG! Yes, this was the one pill I was willing to swallow last night, if only because Rutherford and Matthew Settle sold their attraction so well. There was barely any time for the adults to further the storyline, but they made every second count. Lily getting ready to walk out of the concert before compelling herself to stay was such a real moment, done without dialogue and through a few glances. That's the kind of thing that made me fall in love with this show, and I want it back with the rest of the plotlines, damn it.

Does it look like the freight train that "Gossip Girl" has become will derail by next week's season finale? If last night's episode was any indication, then yes. And what a shame, too. All of these plot twists could have worked if they had been brought to a slow boil over five to eight episodes, but as it is, I didn't buy any of it.

But what do you think? Was last night's episode completely unbelievable, or was it just me? Did the boys actually add anything to the plotline? And how many times did you think OMFG in the episode?

You know you love me,

XOXO