How I JUST MISSED Your Mother

We start in THE FUTURE! FutureTed tells the kids that he never would have met their mother without the "luck of the Irish". As FutureTed explains the concept of St. Patrick's Day, we are treated to footage of drinking and riots.

We cut back to 2008 where FutureTed says that everyone had had enough of partying on St. Patrick's Day, except of course for Barney, who enters the apartment wearing a bright green suit and speaking in a bad Irish accent. After a few jokes at the expense of the suit, Barney tries to get everyone to go with him to a party. Everyone declines, as Marshall and Lily explain they're doing "board game night" at their new apartment. Later, Barney calls Ted and convinces him to leave the boring people and come with him to the party. And as we look at the line of people at the party, we see the infamous YELLOW FUTUREMOM UMBRELLA!

After the credits, there's some banter about some girls Barney found before they try to get into the bar. The bouncer tells them that Barney and Ted can go in but not the girls because there's already so many women that it's starting to seem like "a lesbian bar." Ted asks if the girls inside are hotter than the ones they have. The bouncer says, "I don't know, but they're drunker." Ted lets out a ???rock and roll" and they go inside.

Meanwhile, Robin, Marshall, and Lily enter the new apartment. When Lily leaves the room, Robin discovers that the floor is crooked and reveals it to Marshall. Marshall freaks out and tries to hide the fact from Lily, as Lily comes back into the room with a skateboard, which begins to roll down the floor. Luckily, Lily doesn't notice.

Party. Ted decides that the laws of the universe are in reverse because he now has a "sea of beautiful girls". As an experiment, he decides to spend the rest of the night acting like Barney. He puts champagne on someone else's tab, and gets invited to meet up with girls with "incredibly deep navels". Barney pontificates that there is "no tomorrow"

Apartment: Lily is winning Hungry, Hungry Hippos as she sits on the downward slant of the apartment. She begins to get suspicious, and to deflect her concerns, Marshall lies that he and Robin saw a ghost in the apartment of a Confederate general. Lily asks Robin for confirmation, and Robin deadpans that it passed right through her and she felt "cold, so very cold." When a painting falls down, Lily jumps into Marshall's arms.

Party: Ted says to a girl that he "wants to hook up with [her], leave before breakfast, and never see [her] again." The girl says she's in, and then reveals that she's married.

Lily starts to panic about the ghost, so Robin tells the truth that the apartment is crooked. Lily begins to cry, and Robin wants to know how "racist ghost is better than apartment crooked."

Ted heads towards the bar and bumps into a woman, who says, "excuse me". I mention this because everyone who was watching with me yelled, "THAT'S THE FUTURE MOTHER!" Just thought you'd want to know. Anyway, Barney tries to convince Ted that it's not cheating to hook up with this girl.

Marshall and Lily try to figure out a positive spin on the apartment. Robin answers by putting on a helmet and riding the skateboard out the door for 5 point. Lily does it backwards, and thus was born the sport of Apartment Roller Luge.

An angry guy confronts Ted. He turns out to be the owner of the tab Ted has been using to buy champagne. As he tries to explain, the guy punches Ted in the face.

Next morning, Ted tells Marshall what happened and how it was great. Marshall plays back for Ted the events of the night as recorded by Marshall's voicemail as Ted's phone inadvertently called Marshall all night. Ted realizes that he sounded like Barney, and resolves to never act like that again. Ted heads back to the bar to retrieve his phone, and realizes that it's raining outside. He goes back into the bar and picks up THE FUTUREMOM UMBRELLA!